My mom stood in the gap!

Getting up this morning and writing a blog was not at all on my agenda for today. With that said, over the past few years the Holy Spirit has shown me there are things that people need to hear and even experience for themselves. Over the past three years I found myself working in ministry though I never imagined myself serving in that magnitude. Maybe I neglected to see myself as worthy, too many mistakes perhaps. At first it was quite intimidating to be working with pastors and others who at the drop of a hat could recite scriptures. I held them to a higher standard. Simple as that. I spent 16+ years in banking, business development and community service before I became a stay at home mom and dabbled in direct sales for a women's clothing company. My story isn't one of a faithful relationship with Jesus or a weekly Bible study group. I've made a lot of mistakes over the years because I ignored that gut feeling which I later learned was the Holy Spirit warning me. I've also made a lot of good decisions thanks to God's grace. 

Like everyone else in the world, I have wonderful memories from childhood while there are some things that, up until a few years ago, continued to haunt me from those younger years. I remember listening to my parents scream at each other for what seemed like forever. The screaming not only filled the small, red house but bellowed outside as well. The nice lady across the street, whom I called Cupcake, came over to get me out of the house. I remember she would play dolls with me in the front yard until my dad came to get me. I wish I could say those types of arguments were rare, however they were the norm. There were even times I ended up staying with my grandparents for months at a time because my dad was working second shift and my mom needed to take a break with my brother. I remember I was in third grade and moved with my family an hour away. My parents finally made their marriage and their kids a priority. After intense counseling with their pastor, the fear of God, devotion to one another, my parents celebrated 45 years of marriage before my mom went to be with the Lord. Look at God!!

I believe my mom held a lot of guilt over leaving me with my grandparents for months at a time. There was always a heaviness between us that was magnified in times when I went hunting or fishing with my dad. He would take me out in the front yard to throw the softball back and forth to get me warmed up before my practices or games. Some chalk it up to typical teenage hormones. Teenage daughters in general are difficult or so I'm told.  Having a son who is turning 20 next week I can honestly say teenager attitudes are no joke! I never knew I could upset my son so much or so quickly by saying, "Good morning!" lol That being said, my mom and I kept each other at an arm's length. 

Regardless of our relationship, one important thing my mom did for me while growing up was introduce me to God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit. She often took me to churches of different denominations before settling on attending the Marion Christian Center on Sunday mornings.  Our TV often had Kenneth Copeland, Rod Parsley, Jesse Duplantis and so many others on TBN when football season was over. Once every couple months my dad would get us up early and make the long drive to World Harvest Church to see Pastor Rod Parsley in person. At both MCC and WHC I experienced people worshiping Jesus energetically, speaking and praying in tongues, building relationships in fellowship with others attending. Intense worship and Holy Spirit convicting sermons that change you. Once you've experienced it you can't attend another church that doesn't have it. 

Fast forward to me graduating from high school and marrying my first husband. A few months into the marriage we started having serious problems and I get a call from his aunt and grandmother explaining how he was cheating on me with a woman whom he worked with and had his child. Needless to say we were young and dumb. Six months later we were divorced before I turned 22. The sad thing is I had that feeling in the pit of my stomach telling me not to marry the guy months before I ever walked down the aisle. See?! Young and dumb! At first I turned to God and church on Sundays but I was young. I didn't read my Bible. I didn't have activities or Bible study groups with people my own age. Before I knew it I was going to the club with my college friends and staying out too late. In short, attending church on Sundays was not enough to deepen my relationship with God. The parable of the sower comes to mind in that I was the rocky ground that God's word fell on. I heard it with joy but when I surrounded myself with people who were out having fun and not focused on God, His word in my heart fell away. I became an extremely lazy Christian. 

I stopped going to church on a regular basis but God bless my parents, they continued to make the drive to World Harvest Church every few months and when they did, would to invite me. I joined them when I could if I didn't have plans already but the piece I really want to highlight here is that my parents kept inviting me. Even when I said no or ignored their attempt at getting me to church, they kept inviting me. My mom prayed fervently for me all the time. She prayed for God to bring me closer to him. She prayed for God to protect me until I chose to become the person He intended me to be. Because she was persistent and went out of her way to expose me to God's teachings and love, God continued to give me opportunity after opportunity to choose Him. My mom stood in the gap for me. 

I believe it was in 2019, my mom began sending me YouTube videos of Amanda Grace, Robin D. Bullock, anyone on Elijah Streams. Strong servants of God. Fearless, passionate, anointed. Finally, the night after the presidential election, I felt the Spirit of God all over me.  The Spirit was so heavy I couldn't move yet I wasn't panicked. I actually felt at peace. It was so powerful that I can't find the words to properly describe it. The next morning when I woke up I had a hunger for God's word, truth and serving. God had continued to give me opportunity after opportunity year after year to choose Him. I believe God pursued me because my mom persistently stood in the gap praying for me. Had she become discouraged with my indifference to a deeper relationship with God I don't know where I would be today. Today, my relationship with God is stronger than ever. Between the revelations, miracle healings he's allowed me to witness, prophetic words and confirmations I've witnessed not only in my life but in so many others as well. I can't ever go back to life before. 

I honestly don't know if anyone wants to hear what I have to say or read about the things I have experienced along the way. I do believe someone somewhere needs words of hope. They need a relationship with Jesus. If you've read this far then I hope you are blessed as you stand in the gap for someone. I mentioned before that my mom passed away. In my next blog I will share the story of how God healed our hearts and repaired our relationship before she passed.

God Bless!